Beyond Regret – How to Leave it Behind

There are some things I regret in life.

Not engaging the parking brake on my brother’s car – and watching it roll across a four-lane highway driverless.

Learning French instead of Spanish – no offense to my French-speaking readers. It’s a beautiful language, I just haven’t had much opportunity to use it since  college.

The extra scoop of ice cream I ate last night.  And the night before. And the night before that.

I have more serious regrets as well – how I parented in certain situations, cared too much about the opinions of others, or wasted time on trivial things.

Acknowledging a regret can be therapeutic and help me make better decisions in the future. But just as grief can turn into a pity party, lingering regrets can lead to paralysis,  defeat, and agreeing with Satan’s accusations – that I’m not good enough, smart enough, or spiritual enough.  This is what Paul calls condemnation (Romans 8:1) – and it has no right to occupy the thoughts of a Christ follower. 

How then, do I move past the point of regret? I am reminded of these words God told Samuel: Fill your horn with oil and go.

Some context: God’s chosen King, Saul, had just defied God’s instructions out of fear and pride.  Scripture says God regretted making Saul king over Israel (1 Samuel 15:31). The Hebrew word used here for regret can mean to sigh, breathe strongly, pity. God’s regret had no element of surprise – he foreknew Saul’s actions, just as he knows when we will sin yet still works out his Sovereign will through it.

But Samuel was super frustrated. He’d desperately tried to talk Israel out of wanting a king, knowing they had the ultimate King in God himself. But they would not relent, so God led him to Saul. I imagine Samuel had high hopes for this man who stood taller than anyone else and started strong with a promising military career.  But now God’s prophet was down in the dumps, and God spoke the following words to lift him out:

“How long will you grieve over Saul, since I have rejected him from being king over Israel?  Fill your horn with oil and go.  I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have provided for myself a king among his sons.” (2 Samuel 2:1-2)

God knew what Samuel could not. Amid Samuel’s regret and grief, God was placing the lineage of Jesus Christ, the future Messiah, on the throne of Israel. Forever. Samuel’s next move would initiate events to fulfill prophecies about Jesus. It was time to fill his horn with oil and go. The oil would anoint Jesse’s son David as Israel’s new king.  God was doing a new thing, and it was time to redeem the regret.

So it is for us.  The oil in the horn represents for us the filling of the Holy Spirit (Luke 4:18) who empowers us to move beyond ourselves, our mistakes, and our regrets. And the call to go echoes God’s command to be about the next thing he has planned for us. We all have regrets, and it’s time to leave them in the hands of the God who redeems all things.  It’s time to fill our horn with oil and go.

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