How to Reframe Rejection Through a Lens of Grace – part 1

Rejection hurts. But seeing it through the lens of God’s heart and healing can propel us to push through and love others more deeply. Today’s guest on the podcast provides us with the wisdom and tools needed to reframe rejection.

reframe rejection

Reframe Rejection

Welcome to Episode #19 of The UN-Perfect Podcast, where I have a beautiful conversation with my friend, Jessica Van Roekel. She has written the book on Reframing Rejection. Literally. It contains many powerful truths, insights, and strategies for living a life free from the chains that imprison us by rejection and its accomplices—people-pleasing, perfectionism, selfishness, and pride.

For starters, Jessica shares the four main types of rejection:

  • Perceived Rejection: no one has actually rejected us; we’ve made an assumption based on body language or social cues (more than likely misread)
  • Actual Rejection: the “no’s” we experience that often negatively affect our resiliency
  • Unintentional Rejection: miscommunication/misunderstanding of someone’s actions or words
  • Intentional Rejection: motivated by ill-will or malice, creating jagged wounds in our souls

Next, she gives us insights to help us reframe our perspectives on each:

For perceived rejection, we need to think of ourselves LESS and give others the benefit of the doubt. Proverbs 3:30 warns us not to accuse another for something they’ve yet to do.

While actual rejection is hard, we can remember that our days and times are in God’s hands. This is an opportunity to trust Him and believe His heart for us is good.

Refusing to take up an offense is necessary when responding to unintentional rejection. We must trust the other person’s character rather than interpreting circumstances through our foggy lens. We can deduct truth not only from the words but from the heart behind them.

Lastly, intentional rejection hurts – we feel betrayed, grief, and loss. But the process to put in place is forgiveness – removing the other person’s obligation to make up for what they did to cause us pain.

What a beautiful opportunity to share with Christ in His sufferings. Yes, our Savior knew rejection well.

We wrap up this half of our conversation on reframing rejection with some practical advice and encouragement for those times we often try to people-please in order to avoid rejection. People-pleasing and perfectionism don’t eliminate rejection. Jessica challenges us to MAKE A MISTAKE, OWN IT, AND MOVE ON. Let it go and laugh it off. Practice doesn’t make perfect, it makes permanent. As we practice being okay with our imperfections, we’ll start to be more able to see our value apart from our performance.

Make sure you tune in next week for part 2 of our series on Reframing Rejection with Jessica!

And in the meantime, go grab her downloadable freebie: Reframing Rejection with Wisdom from Philippians…

yes, please!

And her 3-day Reframing Rejection Challenge (it’s free, too):

count me in!

Be sure to visit Jessica at her website – Welcome Grace.

You can order her book, Reframing Rejection, here.

Want more help, hope, and healing in navigating the tension of living fully in the now and the not-yet? Order Your dive today! Click on the link below for more information on EMBRACING UN-PEREFCT – a 7-day dive to fiving fully the life you’ve been dealt.

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