She Works His Way was a journey in denying myself and taking up the cross God has for me, which is all about him receiving glory. Truths I always need to be reminded of, as it’s so easy for me to fall into comparison traps and self-serving motives.
I have often wondered why God designated me for some of my past and current roles, the hardest of which has been mom to kids with medical, physical, and emotional trauma. I see all the times I have failed and don’t consider myself to have been the worthy choice. Worse, I see parents in similar roles who appear to be killing it and it honestly makes me want to crawl in a hole some days. Or at least have a chance to do the whole thing over!
When I look at who God chose to use in scripture to accomplish his will, I totally get why they asked, “why me”? They were as screwed up as I am! I mean, let’s face it, God chose a dysfunctional family as the root from which he would save the entire world.(That statement alone gives me hope!) Noah’s drunkenness led to his “indecent exposure,” Abraham lied and took matters into his own hands, Jacob was a schemer, Moses had anger issues (bless him – I do, too), and David was an adulterer who committed murder. And that’s just the beginning of the list. Don’t get me started on Peter, an impulsive and often irrational guy (and sadly, the disciple I can relate to the most) who denies Jesus at crunch time. God shows throughout the Bible that he doesn’t choose the most “humanly” logical choice…
I am surrounded by spiritual (and cultural) greats who have struggled with depression, from Moses, David, Elijah, Job, and Jeremiah, to Charles Spurgeon, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr and even Louie Giglio. All saints who allowed or continue to allow God to sustain and use them in spite of this struggle. Depression is a common enemy of many. But it doesn’t have to minimize our effectiveness.
