Home Management for Working Moms: Redefining the Word “Homemaker” as we Build a Home based on our Family Values
by Shelly Snead
When I was little, my homemaker/working mom carried a bag she cross-stitched with the phrase:
“If a mother’s place is in the home, why am I always in the car?”
It was funny. And true. But the “mother’s place” part also hit on something deeper—this idea that to be a “good mom,” or dare I say, a “biblical mom,” you had to be a stay-at-home mom. And if you weren’t? Well… good luck juggling the guilt.
Recently, I interviewed Charity Gibson after reading her phenomenal book, The Working Homemaker: Employed Christian Moms Desiring a Thriving Homelife. [1] It was a refreshing take on how to intentionally create a home that reflects our family values and love. Her message? We need to rethink what it actually means to be a homemaker.
What Even Is a Homemaker These Days?
Traditionally, “homemaker” meant staying home full-time. But Charity invites us to redefine that. It’s not about where you spend your workday—it’s about how you show up for your home and family—home management based on family and Biblical values. That can look a thousand different ways, especially in a world where over 70% of moms are in the workforce.
You can be a homemaker and work a full-time job. You can be a homemaker and run a side hustle. You can be a homemaker and homeschool five kids. It’s not about fitting a mold—it’s about building a home with intention, care, and love, wherever life has you.
The goal isn’t perfect balance (because does that even exist?). It’s about harmony—figuring out how your work and home life can support each other, not constantly compete.
You Don’t Owe Feminism a Career
One of the boldest (and best) lines from the book was this:
“If you’re working because you feel obligated as an empowered woman to do so, let me just remind you of something: You don’t owe feminism a career.” [2]
It’s not a dig at feminism—it’s a reminder that you don’t have to prove anything. Your life and your choices should come from your values, your calling, and what’s right for your family.
That goes for stay-at-home moms too. Saying “I have to stay home” makes it sound like you’ve lost all agency. What if, instead, we said, “This is the choice we’ve made because it’s what works for our family right now”?
Different paths, same value.
Redefining “Success” as a Mom
Charity brings up something we all wrestle with—the myth that we can (and should) have it all. The truth? Even Adam and Eve had limits before the fall. Being human means having boundaries, and that’s okay.
Sometimes, that means turning down a promotion, saying no to another commitment, or skipping the “perfect” extracurricular activity. Success isn’t doing everything—it’s doing the right things for your season of life. And that is going to require sacrifice.
Letting Our Husbands Be Homemakers, Too
Let’s be real: a lot of us feel like it’s our job to hold the household together. But homemaking isn’t a “mom-only” job—it’s a family one.
Our spouses aren’t mind readers, though. So, if we need help, we have to speak up. And yes, maybe the dishwasher gets loaded his way. Maybe the towels aren’t folded like Pinterest. And maybe having six pillows neatly arranged on the couch (rather than in a heap…on the floor) moves way down on the priority list. But partnership beats perfection or preference every time.
The Busy Trap
We wear busyness like a badge. The packed schedule, the long to-do list, the constant running—it feels like proof we’re doing something right.
But when we say “yes” to everything, our families often get what’s left. Charity encourages us to create margin—space for rest, connection, and slow moments that aren’t measured in productivity.
It doesn’t have to be extravagant. Think: family game night, backyard dinners, movie marathons in pajamas. These are the things our kids remember.
A Life You Don’t Need to Escape From
This one really stuck with me. Charity talks about how we push through the chaos all year just to make it to that one big vacation. But what if we built a life we didn’t feel like running from in the first place? Or, as Seth Godin said, “Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.”
What could this look like in practical terms? Instead of saving all our connections for a beach trip, what if we made space for smaller, consistent moments throughout the year? What if we made room at the table for connection and built-in downtime to enjoy one another’s company?
Staycations, spontaneous outings, cozy nights in—those can be just as meaningful. And often, way less stressful.
Let’s Talk About Mom Guilt
Guilt can become the constant companion of motherhood as we strive to connect, teach, train, love, and support our families. But often, our guilt comes from chasing a version of “traditional motherhood” that’s not even biblically accurate. A lot of what we idealize actually came from the post-Industrial era—not from Scripture.
The Bible shows us examples of women who worked, led, and still raised families. The real question isn’t, “Am I doing it the traditional way?” It’s, “Am I living by the values God has placed on my heart?” 1 Corinthians 10:31 makes it clear that we have choices in our roles as women, wives, and moms. We are not called to do everything the same way as our neighbor, but we are absolutely called to do whatever we do for God’s glory. “The freedom of “whatever you do” means that we as mamas can equally honor God whether we work or whether we stay home.” [3]
Teaching What Actually Matters
Finally, Charity reminds us that as parents, we are our kids’ first teachers—and not just in reading or math. We’re teaching them how to be kind, manage money, cook, and hold a conversation. These things take time, and they don’t happen on the fly when we’re constantly rushing.
It’s about building margin into our days so those life lessons can actually happen. Whether it’s cracking eggs in the kitchen or helping them navigate hard emotions, we get to be their guide.
The Bottom Line for Working Moms (and busy moms, too!)
Whether you’re a working mom, a stay-at-home mom, or somewhere in between—your work matters. Your home matters. You matter. And God has uniquely gifted you to create a home that is filled with adventure, love, Biblical wisdom, and yes, even piles of laundry and leftovers. We don’t have to live in extremes. We can choose harmony over hustle. Margin over madness. Calling over comparison.
“We don’t have to do it all. We just have to do what matters most.” [4]
[1] As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. So if it’s an Amazon link, I’ll get a few cents if you order one, too;).
[2, 3, 4] All quotes are taken from Charity’s book which you can purchase below:
Other Episodes/blog posts helpful for moms:
