The Journey of Educating Our Children

Home-Schooling the Herdmans

I ADORED my six years of full-time homeschooling—walking the neighborhood, illustrating cicadas in our nature journals, checking out so many books at the library I was often asked if I ran a daycare, naming the birds at the homemade feeders, and of course, counting down the seconds till the “principal” got home to help me keep my sanity! I thought of myself as an ADD version of Charlotte Mason herself:).

Several years ago, however, homeschooling two younger children with multiple sensory and behavior issues who didn’t speak English, a seven-year-old with major medical problems, and an eight-year-old who often got the role of “Parent #3” found me slowly sinking.

My husband had the wisdom to not only notice but also suggest the obvious: ”Maybe we should put them all in school.” (Insert panic attack HERE!) I could not fathom it. Yet God began speaking truths to transform our next season of life:

1. HOMESCHOOLING CAN BE AN IDOL.

I never outwardly judged those who didn’t homeschool, but I realized that I was secretly putting this method of education on a throne of “superiority.” When confronted with the possibility of putting my kids in public school, I was scared to death! Some fears were realistic, but some were superficial and legalistic. I think homeschooling can be the best option spiritually IF GOD CALLS YOU AND PUTS YOU IN THE PLACE TO DO IT. I had to agree with God that it wasn’t for us AT THAT TIME.

A dear friend once said, “Homeschooling is not the litmus test for being a good momma.” God was teaching me that there IS no litmus test … only obedience and grace.

2. COMPLETING MY GOD-GIVEN ASSIGNMENT MEANT NO MORE COMPARING.

Even on “bad days” of homeschooling, I still cherished the calling but made a shocking personal discovery:

I was homeschooling the Herdmans.

(If you aren’t familiar with the Herdmans, check out The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

by Barbara Robinson.)

Ask the employees of Publix who greeted them BY NAME. Ask my friends whose home decor could appear in Southern Living; we better represented America’s Most Wanted and Hoarders. While I seemed to be homeschooling the Herdmans, they seemed to be homeschooling the Cleavers. This comparison was foolish for a couple of reasons. First, no matter how “put together” folks look on the outside, things are not always as they seem. I had to quit judging what I truly did not know.

More importantly, I had to realize that “those women” did not have MY CHILDREN, MY PERSONALITY, MY HUSBAND, MY BACKGROUND, or MY BUDGET, so the comparison was pointless. I now appreciate our quirkiness and shake off self-imposed expectations of anyone else’s standards but GOD’S. I’m daily learning God can use the stage of life I am in—the good, bad, and cray-cray—for HIS glory alone.

3. PEACE COMES WHEN I PURSUE HIS PURPOSE.

I knew if I didn’t pull out, I would drown. I had been treading water too long. When I dropped those precious babies off at school that first day, I was a WRECK. Bawling. Not just sniffles, but shrieking, ugly, someone-admit-me-I-am-crazy crying. I went home and took a FOUR hour nap (somebody was a little tired).

And God whispered, “Shhh … Relax … Rest … I’ve got this. I keep in PERFECT peace him whose mind is fixed on me.” My kids’ redemption would not come BECAUSE of me but because of HIM, in SPITE of me. Now my heart was completely dependent on His “new-every-morning-mercies” to complete the work in them.

Having kids in public school is often just as crazy and hectic as having them at home (sometimes MORE so because of the lack of scheduling control), but pursuing GOD’s purpose for our kids puts my mind at peace, in spite of the chaos around us.

4. NO EDUCATIONAL DECISION HAS TO BE PERMANENT.

Our motto? “Year-by-year, kid-by-kid.” Some have remained in school, some homeschooled, one in school a half a day and homeschooled the other half—you name it, we’ve done it. I have the freedom to choose AND to change directions mid-stream. We often think we must have the whole thing mapped out, but goodness, when was the last time everything went EXACTLY according to your plan? (ME: NEVER!) GOD doesn’t change, but our seasons, ministries, and opportunities do. I’m choosing to listen to the One who has our BEST at heart and the final destination in His hand.

Am I glad I quit homeschooling? Nope. I miss read a-louds snuggled up on the couch every day, family field trips, speaking truth to their hearts ALL day, no homework, meeting daddy for lunch, and no packing peanut-free school lunches. Interestingly enough, I also wasn’t very “glad” during labor pains, marriage conflicts, or anything else that was HARD at the time. Yet these things yielded HOLINESS as I gave the ordeals over to God’s control and gave Him free reign to surprise me with “good and perfect gifts” as a result!

However God leads you to educate your children, I challenge you to do it with prayer, meditation, and persistence, seeking HIM above all else. Wherever our kids are educated, it still takes ENORMOUS amounts of intentionality on OUR parts to raise them in the Truth of God’s Word against the backdrop of a fallen world. The effectiveness of their discipleship will be a direct result of our own, intimate walk with Christ.

How are you being intentional about discipling your kiddos in whichever arena God has placed you? We could probably learn a lot from each other!