I’m Done.

I’m done trying to be a great mom.  Seriously, it is HIGHLY overrated. 

This past weekend I had a huge revelation; sadly, not for the first time (or second, or third, …), but none-the-less  a light-bulb moment for sure).  I had signed up to cook a BBQ roast for the band directors and judges of a huge competition our school was hosting.   And I was EXTREMELY proud of myself for remembering to take it out of the freezer ahead of time so it could slow-cook all night and be ready by 10:45 the next morning when we needed to leave.  I’m not sure when and where my brain timed out, but it wasn’t until I awoke at 9:15 Saturday morning and moseyed down the stairs to start my coffee that I realized that the roast was still in the fridge.

Ya’ll, I had a FIVE POUND roast to cook in less than two hours.  I now know that is impossible, but in the moment, I did what every great mom does in a crisis.  I consulted Google. 

“Fastest way to cook a roast” <search> 

And let me tell you, though I possess a stove, an oven, a microwave, AND a pressure cooker –there wasn’t a SINGLE method that was going to cook that thing in time.  I nuked it as long as I could and ended up delivering it to the school “un-done”, plugging it in and asking the hospitality coordinator to keep it hidden behind the other crockpots until it was cooked.  After all, I had to be at my concession stand duty post for the next 4 freaking hours…

Afterwards I checked on the roast.  It had somehow gotten unplugged.  I quickly plugged it back in and headed off to my other son’s football game across town where I happened to promise my daughter I would finish braiding her African-American hair (a 7-hour process we were a little over halfway through) after I got home, NO MATTER HOW LATE.  Of course, first I had to volunteer at the product table of the next game and then head back over to the first school to retrieve my crockpot.

By that time it was 9:00 pm, and I was exhausted.    Apparently, having my husband tell our daughter I would not be completing her hair-do was the breaking point for her (I got the 911 text message that simply read “you need to come home now”).  Her earth-shattering meltdown ensued until I was able to get home and calm her down.

As I think of the bookends of my day being complete mom-fails, this eye-opening fact is clear:  I have to stop trying to be a “great mom.”  The mom that volunteers for everything at the steep cost of losing physical energy and mental clarity BETTER spent on her kids and husband.  The mom that tries to photograph and video every moment, but in doing so misses out on the wonder of just being present.  The mom that worries about what people will think if she ISN’T involved, instead of the one that seeks God for the absolute best use of her time.  I know better (I’ve read The Best Yes by Lisa TerKeurst after all). But I needed this reminder:

I don’t want to be a GREAT mom, I want to be a GODLY mom. 

I don’t want my mornings to be stressful, trying to find a supernatural roast recipe that saves my day, when I could be finding peace in savoring the Word of God so that I can be more like Jesus when I serve.  I don’t want my days to be filled with empty promises made to my kiddos, but rather with quiet listening to the voice of God so that I can impart TRUTH to them instead. 

There’s nothing wrong with volunteering or serving others outside of my family, but it’s wrong when my motives aren’t right and if I haven’t asked God what HE wants my agenda to be.  Wrong motives can be costly.  Ask Ananias and Sapphira, who gave part of their land sale proceeds to the apostles in the early church.  They died on the spot because they dishonestly held some back for themselves.  This seems a little harsh until you read the whole story carefully.  They were trying to “appear to be” rather than “to be.”  Their actions sprang from wrong motives.  And I think God wanted the early church to know what He’d been saying all through the Old Testament:  He delights in worship over works (Psalm 69:29-32).  He looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). 

Our motives matter. 

Let’s be people whose motives are purified by God’s Word

so that our motives match our mission.

What has God called you to do today?  What needs to be deleted from the schedule to make room for Him and those he’s entrusted to you?