It’s Never Too Late To Be A Good Mom

There are many unflattering “mom stories” told around our home – some true, and others that have wildly wandered with each retelling.  There’s the “get it off me” story, which is what my husband claims I said when they placed our first child in my arms after delivery. (I can neither confirm nor deny since I had the flu on top of pre-eclampsia and an extremely painful delivery with complications.) Then there’s “if you’re coming inside crying, you’d better be bleeding,” which, ashamedly, I do recall saying to my youngest son – who was indeed bleeding, his head split open while playing outdoors.  There’s the hole in the wall of my daughter’s bedroom, created by my foot and my anger. And once my entire family heard me quietly tell our family dog he was my favorite. In my defense, he’s never talked back to me or complained about his dinner and is always happy to see me.

Sometimes it feels like I’ve failed at this parenting gig more often than I’ve succeeded.  I no longer enjoy reading most parenting books, which seem to point out everything I’ve done wrong, or worse, lead me to think it’s too late to make progress. After all, our four kids are ages 15-20 and only two currently live in our home.

Feelings of inadequacy echo the lie that my God-given role as a mom is impossible to live well – or that it’s too late to be a good mom.

But in God’s economy, if a thief can find redemption in his final breaths, there is hope for me!  My poor parenting choices have consequences, but through reading God’s Word I grasp the lengths he will go to restore what’s broken – in me, in our children, and in our family.  It’s never too late to start writing a different story.  And it all comes down to my humility and belief in who God is and what he can do in, through, and in spite of, me.

HUMILITY

The Bible says God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. (James 4:6) Humility is where this mom must start to receive God’s compassionate restoration.  I’ve apologized to God and my kids more times than I can count. In these moments, I own my weakness and admit my dependence on his strength to help me the next time.

But I don’t have to dwell in defeat because God gently raises me to walk in his victory.  Some parenting fails negatively impact our kids, but as we humbly submit to his discipline, we can entrust their healing to his loving, capable hands.  Pride and selfishness produce strife, but Scripture promises a humble spirit will obtain honor (Proverbs 29:23), so each day I strive to walk humbly with him.

BELIEF

Belief – not in my ability to parent well, but in the God who calls and equips me. Henry Blackaby once wrote, “Will God ever ask you to do something you are not able to do? The answer is yes – all the time! It must be that way, for God’s glory and kingdom. If we function according to our ability alone, we get the glory; if we function according to the power of the Spirit within us, God gets the glory. He wants to reveal Himself to a watching world.”

Saying “it’s too late” or “they’re too far gone” reflects my lack of faith in what God can do, much more than what I’m capable of as a mom. I can’t do it without him, nor do I want to.  His track record shows promise kept, lions’ mouths shut, armies defeated, ashes turned to beauty, and old things made new.  When I dwell on past mistakes, I’m forgetting the power of the cross to cover those mistakes, and the victory of the resurrection to overcome them. 

Will God ever ask you to do something you are not able to do?

The answer is yes – all the time

Henry Blackaby

The apostle Paul, who spent early adulthood persecuting and killing Christians, refused to believe it was too late to serve Jesus: “Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3)

So, I will refuse to believe it’s too late to be a good mom. I will humbly shepherd my kids as I am able, pray for them daily, and entrust them to the to the restorative purposes of their Heavenly Father.

How do you move past your “mom fails?”  I’d love to hear how God has worked in this area of your life, so please feel free to leave a comment!