Prodigal Mom
I like to imagine that I am somewhat of an expert on my four kids (a claim they would fiercely deny). But just when I think I have them figured out, they go and surprise me.
Some surprises have been amazing – like watching my son receive an award I had no idea he was up for, or videoing my daughter completing her first front handspring – something I had no idea she could do. Some surprises are not so amazing, such as finding out personally that kindergarteners could actually get suspended from school (really?!), or that I was sharing a bag of popcorn with two of my kids who were, unbeknownst to me, intermittently throwing dog poop at each other in the backyard between “snacks”.
Sadly though, we’re sometimes surprised that after we’ve done our best to share the great love of Jesus with our kids, as well as how to remain in that love by obeying the foundational truths of His Word, they choose to reject it. I’ve experienced this on several levels with each of my kids. With one kid, it may have been a light, face-palm moment of thinking, “I cannot believe you just said that!”, while for another, I was on my knees, crying out in desperation, wondering if they will ever truly know and love Him the way He created them to.
Today I’m offering you some truths that have empowered me to persevere as a “Prodigal Mom”. Truths that have enabled me to stop mourning at the foot of the mountain in front of me, and begin imagining the glory of the One who awaits at the summit. Truths that renew my faith in the fact that, even if this mountain never moves, God is still a sovereign, faithful God, not wanting any to perish, but ALL to come to eternal life.
- I will never stop praying. I know it sounds cliché, it is hard, and it gets old. During a recent sermon at my church, we were called to list the ONE THING we wanted God to accomplish so that we could spend 21 days of concentrated prayer on it. While one of my children’s names instantly came to mind, so did the thought that I was literally tired of this always being my “one thing”. (Wouldn’t it be nice if we could choose our “hard”, our “trial”, our “one thing”?) But I see too many times in scripture where persistent prayer either changed the outcome, or changed the pray-er. I learn from the persistent widow parable in Luke 18 that God will not put off His chosen ones who cry out to Him day and night. And I learn from the “Hall of Faith” listed in Hebrews 11 that, even though most of these faithful men and women never got to see the fruit of their prayers and work, it was credited to them as righteousness. I pray without ceasing not only for the benefit of my child, but for mine as well.
- The Word of God is my only hope. So if I am not in it regularly, meditating on it, praying through it, listening to the Holy Spirit speak, I am more inclined to despair over the fate of my child’s choices. I have accessed the use of a variety of healthy interventions but the most heart-changing and unwavering exhortations I have received in this particular journey have been from corporate and private times of Bible study. In chapter 119, the Psalmist says that God’s word revives the soul, rejoices the heart, and enlightens the eyes, “…..for your testimonies are my meditation.” There was a season when I had to displace my child from our home for several months (for their benefit and for ours). It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. During that time, God led me to the book of Hosea where He encouraged me with the promise that He would “lead her to the wilderness and speak to her tenderly, and make the Valley of Suffering into a gateway of hope”. There have been many other passages of scripture, sermons, and personal testimonies of fellow believers that have rekindled my faith in what God was and is capable of doing along this journey. Now is not the time for slacking off or going it alone. As Peter said to Jesus in John 6:68, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words of eternal life”
- Jesus loves them more than I do. This is not just another platitude. Holding on to my child too tightly produces undue pressure, as if I’m the only one who can “save” them. I must hold them loosely so that the One who loves them and chases after them more fiercely than I ever could can pull them closely to His breast. I love this quote from Dan Lian: “Love is measured by how much pain you will endure for another”. Many of us mamas have sacrificed a great deal of time, money, emotions, and even careers to help our kids heal from trauma or come to a personal faith in Jesus. But Jesus endured the cross – excruciating, humiliating and agonizing – to bring my child to repentance, faith, and abundant life. I can trust His heart for them, and I can trust His unequivocal ability to do it, as He can do “immeasurably MORE than I could hope or imagine!” (Ephesians 3:20). Proof of that trust must be in letting their futures rest in His faithful hands.
How is God strengthening your faith as a “Prodigal Mom” today?
