The Jealousy of God

I’ve always wondered about this idea of a jealous God.  Surely He’s not insecure.  I mean, the cattle on a thousand hills are His, and all of creation shouts in praise to the wonder of His majesty!  But I got a better glimpse of His heart on the matter one morning at a women’s Bible Study.

Across the circle from me sat a mom with a new-born baby girl snuggled up to her chest, held in one of those hands-free-snuggly-wrap-type things.  (I’m sure there’s a shorter name for them, but alas, they did not exist when my 2 bio kids were babies…). Because she was held safely and securely against her mama’s chest, mom was able to use one hand to hold her Bible Lesson, and with the other, she continually rubbed the baby’s back and gently patted her cute little tushee (the baby’s….just clarifying).

I couldn’t help but notice how peacefully the baby rested next to the heart-beat of the one who loved her most passionately, under the affectionate touch of the one who could meet her every need for comfort and serenity.  And then I felt a strange sense of jealousy…

NOT BECAUSE I WANTED A BABY – that ship had already sailed –  but because I knew that my 2 adopted kids would not be experiencing the challenges and struggles they were dealing with (and still are dealing with) if they had had that kind of security, affection, and love during their first 3-4 years of life.  But they didn’t.  They were abandoned, neglected, and left to live by their own sheer will.  Their birth mamas gave them the precious gift of life, for which I will FOREVER be grateful.  And the two nannies that cared for them did their best to meet the needs of all forty babies in their care. But my heart ached for what they missed out on, and the COST it continues to have on their little lives.   And I was jealous of what could have – SHOULD have – been theirs.

And that’s when God spoke.  Because thankfully, He never leaves me alone in my musings.

“NOW you just might get it.  That’s why I am a jealous God for My own.  I know what can be yours when you stay nestled to My breast, abiding in Me, trusting in Me, looking to Me ALONE for your affection.  And I ache for what you miss out on when you DON’T.  I would rather do WHATEVER IT TAKES to keep you close to My heart than for you to experience the HIGH COST of straying from My presence and My will.  My jealousy does not come from a place of ego, but from a heart of deep and sacrificial love.   I want the best for you, and I know too well the struggles and challenges you will face when you are not fully RESTING in My perfect love.”

My thoughts, choices, and attitudes so many times keep me from the safety and security of resting in Him.  Leading me away from His best.  And there is always a cost.  He loves me too much to sit by idly and be “okay” with it.  His name is JEALOUS.  And He is jealous for ME.